Time: January 2006
So I did it! I've been cast in my very first New York, Off-Off Broadway play! To tell you the truth, I was surprised I even got called in to audition. I only had one more day of filming "LE MAITRE DU ZODIAQUE" at the end of December so even though I didn't think I had enough theater experience to read for a Shepard play, I submitted my headshot and resume anyway. I always say, "Don't reject yourself for roles, because you never know."
At the first audition, I performed a 3-minute dramatic narrative monologue from the movie "Eve's Bayou." Of course, I didn't say it was from a film, and I don't know if it would even have mattered if I did, but I felt it was great monologue for me and I enjoyed working on it. The first time I did the piece, I felt good about it but the director called for more volume, more vocal strength. This, of course, was a theater audition, while I was used to film auditions.
Note to self: Research voice classes when I get home.
The second time was better, vocally, and good enough to get me a spot at the callbacks the following day.
This time, I read directly from the play for the roles of Sally and Beth, the two young female leads in "A Lie of the Mind." The callback was interesting because, unlike in most auditions, we got to see other people audition. Thankfully, at my particular time slot, no one was reading for the roles I was reading for. So I read for Beth, I read for Sally and I go home really wanting the Beth role. Beth's the delicate brain-damaged young woman whose condition was caused by being beaten by her jealous husband. As an actor, it was a role I could sink my teeth into, and the role of Sally seemed less challenging in comparison.
Fast forward two days. Phone rings. It's the Casting Director/Artistic Director of the black box theater where the play will be performed. I'm invited to a second callback. For what role?
Sally.
OK, that's cool. (Snapping fingers in disappointment.) But, I'm still excited. Immediately after I get off the phone, I pick up my copy of the play that I'd purchased at The Drama Book Shop, and read it again, this time focusing on the role of Sally.
Oh wow. This could be really fun. After the second read I realize I'd underestimated the role of Sally, and that it could be just as rewarding, if not more so, than Beth's character.
The second callback goes great and I feel very right for the role, but I wonder how the rest of the family looks. I understand that this is a play about families and that in casting, how realistic a family looks/sounds together is very important to the process. I figured all I could do is my best, and leave the choosing to the powers that be.
So...let's cut to the chase.
I was offered the part of Sally, accepted the role and was scheduled to do a table read the following week. After the holidays we jumped into an intensive rehearsal schedule and I began to work with actors that had a lot more experience in the theatre than I'd had. I wish I could say the same thing about everyone's level of commitment.
Sadly, soon after rehearsals began, things started falling apart. The girl that was cast as Beth wasn't showing up for rehearsals. The guy who played Frankie was notoriously late. The Equity papers hadn't been properly filed. Our rehearsals in the theatre were cut short due to scheduling issues. And the final straw -- The guy who played Jake dropped out a week before the show was scheduled to open. (Shaking my head.) After this unfortunate chain of events, the show was cancelled a few days before opening night.
Needless to say, it was quite an experience, and my well-worn copy of "A Lie of the Mind" still sits on my bookshelf. I don't know if I'll ever get to perform the role of Sally again, but through my hours of rehearsal, through the good and bad, I learned a lot of important lessons:
1. Be on time.
2. Be prepared.
3. Be a team player.
4. Communicate with your fellow castmates.
5. Nothing's ever certain.
Although I was disappointed at the outcome, I can walk away with no regrets because I know that I gave my all to the project. And hey, I guess it wasn't meant to be... there are better things in store for me. You see, I've just started my acting program at Esper Studio and now I can devote all my energy to my training.
Hanging with the Ghosts of Sandy Meisner
Time: Winter 2005/Fall 2006
So I've made my decision. Out of all the wonderful acting studios in NY, I've decided upon, and been accepted to the William Esper Accelerated Two-Year Program. It worked out perfectly, actually. While working on the miniseries, I toyed with the idea of applying to grad schools... I'd looked into Juilliard, NYU and Yale's programs, and had visions of me sporting a navy blue Yale sweatshirt and doing amazing plays with the Yale Rep. But, I kept hearing about this one studio, this Esper studio. About how actors there were challenged to be their best, most authentic selves. About how the whole program was based on Meisner's teachings. Meisner being the man who prized "in-the-moment", organic responses to situations and whose technique translated well on both the stage and the screen. I was drawn to the studio, interviewed by Terry Knickerbocker, and offered a place in his First Year Class that started in January.
My last day of filming the miniseries was on December 28th, so I could wrap that project, spend a week in Texas and jump into class after the New Year. Perfect. Boy was I excited, but I had no idea what a journey I was going to make over the next 17 months.
From the very beginning, I could tell that Terry Knickerbocker was a gifted teacher and that I was blessed to be in his class. His standard of excellence, his passion for the craft both inspired and motivated my peers and me to bring our whole, most present selves to the room each and every class. To shave away the artifice and only leave the truth behind.
As time went on, my "appropriate" self started to take a back seat and I began to feel free to just be, to be me, with all of my fears and dreams and ideas and pain and desires and heartaches, however inappropriate. We were in a safe place, different from the "real world" where we could flex artistic muscles that might not be appreciated at say, The Whole Foods down the street.
Terry demanded honesty, hard work, creativity, timeliness, professionalism and growth, and if you didn't give him what he asked for, well, it sucks to be you. But even through the "suckiness", we learned. We learned our strengths and weaknesses and by watching our peers' work, we learned as well. Apart from all the gems of acting knowledge I collected each day, I learned that true friendships can blossom even when you're not looking for them. I learned how beautiful it is to support your fellow artists as you fight your way through a sometimes resistant industry. I learned that life is so, so beautiful, through laughter, love, grief and heartache, and that we actors have a responsibility to represent it as truthfully as we can. I learned oh-so-much in my 17 glorious months at the William Esper Studio, and as I walk away to continue my journey, I am a better actor and a better person because of it.
So I've made my decision. Out of all the wonderful acting studios in NY, I've decided upon, and been accepted to the William Esper Accelerated Two-Year Program. It worked out perfectly, actually. While working on the miniseries, I toyed with the idea of applying to grad schools... I'd looked into Juilliard, NYU and Yale's programs, and had visions of me sporting a navy blue Yale sweatshirt and doing amazing plays with the Yale Rep. But, I kept hearing about this one studio, this Esper studio. About how actors there were challenged to be their best, most authentic selves. About how the whole program was based on Meisner's teachings. Meisner being the man who prized "in-the-moment", organic responses to situations and whose technique translated well on both the stage and the screen. I was drawn to the studio, interviewed by Terry Knickerbocker, and offered a place in his First Year Class that started in January.
My last day of filming the miniseries was on December 28th, so I could wrap that project, spend a week in Texas and jump into class after the New Year. Perfect. Boy was I excited, but I had no idea what a journey I was going to make over the next 17 months.
From the very beginning, I could tell that Terry Knickerbocker was a gifted teacher and that I was blessed to be in his class. His standard of excellence, his passion for the craft both inspired and motivated my peers and me to bring our whole, most present selves to the room each and every class. To shave away the artifice and only leave the truth behind.
As time went on, my "appropriate" self started to take a back seat and I began to feel free to just be, to be me, with all of my fears and dreams and ideas and pain and desires and heartaches, however inappropriate. We were in a safe place, different from the "real world" where we could flex artistic muscles that might not be appreciated at say, The Whole Foods down the street.
Terry demanded honesty, hard work, creativity, timeliness, professionalism and growth, and if you didn't give him what he asked for, well, it sucks to be you. But even through the "suckiness", we learned. We learned our strengths and weaknesses and by watching our peers' work, we learned as well. Apart from all the gems of acting knowledge I collected each day, I learned that true friendships can blossom even when you're not looking for them. I learned how beautiful it is to support your fellow artists as you fight your way through a sometimes resistant industry. I learned that life is so, so beautiful, through laughter, love, grief and heartache, and that we actors have a responsibility to represent it as truthfully as we can. I learned oh-so-much in my 17 glorious months at the William Esper Studio, and as I walk away to continue my journey, I am a better actor and a better person because of it.
Uh.. Parlez vous anglais?
Time: Fall 2005
I asked for it, I got it. I'm in the midst of a whirldwind, traveling from NYC to Paris, from Paris to Lausanne and then back again. I've become a familiar face at both La Guardia and Charles de Gaulle airports and I have mastered the art of rolling my clothes to take up the least space possible.
Traveling is exhausting! Once I get to my destination, I always need a couple days to get centered. Luckily, a comfy room has been arranged for me in a 4-star Swiss hotel. Lausanne is beautiful, picturesque with its rolling vineyards and snow-capped mountains on the horizon. I have a lot of down time and a fairly generous per diem so I treat myself to a nice dinner at a different restaurant each night. I'm still feeling a little shy as I'm the only American among a Swiss and French cast and crew, so I spend most of my meals sipping wine, and gobbling up my latest book. (Not literally of course.) I am content. I have my scripts in my room, my phone cards to call home daily and access to the hotel's DVD library a floor below. There are moments, though, that I get lonely. I think to myself:
'It'd be pretty cool if my friends/fam could be here enjoying this with me. Hey, they wouldn't even have to pay for a hotel room.'
But the loneliness passes and I happily plan my itinerary for the days I'm not shooting.
My first day on set is pretty easy. Not much dialogue, beautiful weather, my call time's at 8am and my driver gets me back to the hotel by 2pm. The second day, however, is definitely... interesting. First all, I'm wearing a bikini whose top happens to be two sizes too small. But aside from an imminent wardrobe malfunction, a few memorable things happen:
1. I almost faint due to the fact that I'd forgotten to eat that morning.
2. I almost drown while shooting a scene that takes place in the pool. After five minutes of swimming laps, I listen desperately for the word 'CUT,' but instead hear 'Une minute de plus.'
Note to self: Become a stronger swimmer.
3. I fall flat on my derriere while running into a shot, wearing flip-flops.
4. I have to ask my 8 year old co-star (who doesn't speak English) to explain the nuances of Claude-Michel's piece of direction to me, which he does so, masterfully.
You see, no one on set spoke English, so not only is this my first TV experience, all my direction and lines are in French. And, I just happen to be surrounded by a slew of veteran French actors, among them the respected Francis Huster. I feel like a fish out of water, but I know that this experience, although challenging, is making me stronger.
So, I brush my towel off after the fall, munch on some food, take a few deep breaths after the near death experience and finish my scenes for the day. As I stand under the hot shower near the hotel pool, a photographer shoots publicity photos nearby and fans of the series wait patiently for autographs from the cast. I step out into the Swiss sunshine, put on some comfy clothes and head to my catered meal of quiche, fresh baguettes, brie, gruyere cheese and red wine. Mishaps aside, nothing can erase the fact that this whole experience with its ups and downs and all arounds is no short of amazing, and I'm lucky to be living it.
I asked for it, I got it. I'm in the midst of a whirldwind, traveling from NYC to Paris, from Paris to Lausanne and then back again. I've become a familiar face at both La Guardia and Charles de Gaulle airports and I have mastered the art of rolling my clothes to take up the least space possible.
Traveling is exhausting! Once I get to my destination, I always need a couple days to get centered. Luckily, a comfy room has been arranged for me in a 4-star Swiss hotel. Lausanne is beautiful, picturesque with its rolling vineyards and snow-capped mountains on the horizon. I have a lot of down time and a fairly generous per diem so I treat myself to a nice dinner at a different restaurant each night. I'm still feeling a little shy as I'm the only American among a Swiss and French cast and crew, so I spend most of my meals sipping wine, and gobbling up my latest book. (Not literally of course.) I am content. I have my scripts in my room, my phone cards to call home daily and access to the hotel's DVD library a floor below. There are moments, though, that I get lonely. I think to myself:
'It'd be pretty cool if my friends/fam could be here enjoying this with me. Hey, they wouldn't even have to pay for a hotel room.'
But the loneliness passes and I happily plan my itinerary for the days I'm not shooting.
My first day on set is pretty easy. Not much dialogue, beautiful weather, my call time's at 8am and my driver gets me back to the hotel by 2pm. The second day, however, is definitely... interesting. First all, I'm wearing a bikini whose top happens to be two sizes too small. But aside from an imminent wardrobe malfunction, a few memorable things happen:
1. I almost faint due to the fact that I'd forgotten to eat that morning.
2. I almost drown while shooting a scene that takes place in the pool. After five minutes of swimming laps, I listen desperately for the word 'CUT,' but instead hear 'Une minute de plus.'
Note to self: Become a stronger swimmer.
3. I fall flat on my derriere while running into a shot, wearing flip-flops.
4. I have to ask my 8 year old co-star (who doesn't speak English) to explain the nuances of Claude-Michel's piece of direction to me, which he does so, masterfully.
You see, no one on set spoke English, so not only is this my first TV experience, all my direction and lines are in French. And, I just happen to be surrounded by a slew of veteran French actors, among them the respected Francis Huster. I feel like a fish out of water, but I know that this experience, although challenging, is making me stronger.
So, I brush my towel off after the fall, munch on some food, take a few deep breaths after the near death experience and finish my scenes for the day. As I stand under the hot shower near the hotel pool, a photographer shoots publicity photos nearby and fans of the series wait patiently for autographs from the cast. I step out into the Swiss sunshine, put on some comfy clothes and head to my catered meal of quiche, fresh baguettes, brie, gruyere cheese and red wine. Mishaps aside, nothing can erase the fact that this whole experience with its ups and downs and all arounds is no short of amazing, and I'm lucky to be living it.
Here comes NY! There goes NY!
Time: June 5, 2005
Wowsers. I've only been in NY for two minutes and I can already feel it. That electricity in the air, that feeling that anything can and will happen if only you can dream it and work hard to achieve it. The feeling that this city is not for the weary, and that it will require you to give your best and nothing less. I just arrived to NYC from Paris, France, where I've been living for the past year. Funny thing happened a few days before I left town. My agent, Cindy Brace, called me with my first audition since I signed with her 6 months before. I had a feeling that was going to happen... right when I leave, I'm going to get an audition. And, it did. Unfortunately, the audition is scheduled for 2 days from now and there was no way I was going to postpone my entire move back to the U.S. for the preread.
Me: "Cindy, can I send them a tape when I get to NY?"
Cindy: "No, they're going to want to see you in person."
Well, that's the breaks, I guess. I'm not terribly disappointed because my schedule's already pretty full for my first week in NY. I'd signed up on Actor's Access while I was still in Paris, so I've already got an audition scheduled. Also, I'll be going by T. Schreiber Studios for an info session because I want to start training as soon as possible. That's the main reason why I'm here so I don't want to waste any time.
So, I'm taking care of business, getting set up in NY, and lo and behold, I get an email from my agent. It turns out, the director still wants to consider me for the role of "Cindy" in the five-part miniseries "Le Maitre du Zodiaque." Little did I know, this series was the second installation of last summer's most successful miniseries. The casting director requested that I send an audition tape of the two scenes she's provided in the next 2 days. I did, and soon after they received it, they requested that I return to Paris asap to meet with the director. As luck would have it, I flew the NYC to London to Paris route the same day that London suffered the terrorist bombings in the subways. Luckily I managed to arrive in Paris safe and sound and on time for my meeting with the director, Claude-Michel Rome. It was a great meeting and when I left Paris, I had a signed contract in hand and plans to return to Paris a month and a half later to begin shooting.
Wow, wow, wow. As I sat in awe in my seat on the long plane ride home I was reminded of something that had happened two years before. I was completing the oral portion of my French exam, and my French teacher asked me what I saw myself doing in 5 years. I thought for a moment and then responded in French:
"Je vais etre une actrice internationelle. Je vais tourner des filmes en anglais, francais et espagnol."
"I'm going to be an international actresss. I'm going to make films in English, French and Spanish."
My French teacher laughed then. And I'm laughing now and shaking my head at the wonder of it all. I'm on my way back to NYC and I'm on my way to realizing my dreams.
Wowsers. I've only been in NY for two minutes and I can already feel it. That electricity in the air, that feeling that anything can and will happen if only you can dream it and work hard to achieve it. The feeling that this city is not for the weary, and that it will require you to give your best and nothing less. I just arrived to NYC from Paris, France, where I've been living for the past year. Funny thing happened a few days before I left town. My agent, Cindy Brace, called me with my first audition since I signed with her 6 months before. I had a feeling that was going to happen... right when I leave, I'm going to get an audition. And, it did. Unfortunately, the audition is scheduled for 2 days from now and there was no way I was going to postpone my entire move back to the U.S. for the preread.
Me: "Cindy, can I send them a tape when I get to NY?"
Cindy: "No, they're going to want to see you in person."
Well, that's the breaks, I guess. I'm not terribly disappointed because my schedule's already pretty full for my first week in NY. I'd signed up on Actor's Access while I was still in Paris, so I've already got an audition scheduled. Also, I'll be going by T. Schreiber Studios for an info session because I want to start training as soon as possible. That's the main reason why I'm here so I don't want to waste any time.
So, I'm taking care of business, getting set up in NY, and lo and behold, I get an email from my agent. It turns out, the director still wants to consider me for the role of "Cindy" in the five-part miniseries "Le Maitre du Zodiaque." Little did I know, this series was the second installation of last summer's most successful miniseries. The casting director requested that I send an audition tape of the two scenes she's provided in the next 2 days. I did, and soon after they received it, they requested that I return to Paris asap to meet with the director. As luck would have it, I flew the NYC to London to Paris route the same day that London suffered the terrorist bombings in the subways. Luckily I managed to arrive in Paris safe and sound and on time for my meeting with the director, Claude-Michel Rome. It was a great meeting and when I left Paris, I had a signed contract in hand and plans to return to Paris a month and a half later to begin shooting.
Wow, wow, wow. As I sat in awe in my seat on the long plane ride home I was reminded of something that had happened two years before. I was completing the oral portion of my French exam, and my French teacher asked me what I saw myself doing in 5 years. I thought for a moment and then responded in French:
"Je vais etre une actrice internationelle. Je vais tourner des filmes en anglais, francais et espagnol."
"I'm going to be an international actresss. I'm going to make films in English, French and Spanish."
My French teacher laughed then. And I'm laughing now and shaking my head at the wonder of it all. I'm on my way back to NYC and I'm on my way to realizing my dreams.
The Beginning
Time: Present Day, October 2007
Gosh. I never knew this whole "writing of a blog" thing would be so difficult to just, well, start. I mean, I've been meaning to start writing for months now, but I just kept putting it off, putting it off until... I just got tired of looking at a blank blog page. I wanted to wait until I had something great to say, interesting, clever... but I've decided to just begin at well, this moment.
At this moment, I'm in NYC. Specifically, I'm in my tiny studio on 25th Street between Broadway and 6th Avenue. It's a great apartment really, even though it doesn't get as much sunlight as I would like. My view is of an abandoned building but my lofted bed is extremely cozy and warm at night. Boxes are stacked in the corner and the movers are already scheduled to come. You see, I'm leaving for Los Angeles in a mere two weeks (sigh.)
I'm very excited about the next chapter but also a bit sad that I'll be leaving the richness of New York behind. The subway rides, the long walks, the days in Madison Square Park, the pizza... I'm going to miss living with you, NYC. So in honor of our parting I'm going to devote the next several posts to the acting experiences I've had while living in NYC. I'll begin 2 years and four months ago (on June 5th, 2005) and proceed from there....
Gosh. I never knew this whole "writing of a blog" thing would be so difficult to just, well, start. I mean, I've been meaning to start writing for months now, but I just kept putting it off, putting it off until... I just got tired of looking at a blank blog page. I wanted to wait until I had something great to say, interesting, clever... but I've decided to just begin at well, this moment.
At this moment, I'm in NYC. Specifically, I'm in my tiny studio on 25th Street between Broadway and 6th Avenue. It's a great apartment really, even though it doesn't get as much sunlight as I would like. My view is of an abandoned building but my lofted bed is extremely cozy and warm at night. Boxes are stacked in the corner and the movers are already scheduled to come. You see, I'm leaving for Los Angeles in a mere two weeks (sigh.)
I'm very excited about the next chapter but also a bit sad that I'll be leaving the richness of New York behind. The subway rides, the long walks, the days in Madison Square Park, the pizza... I'm going to miss living with you, NYC. So in honor of our parting I'm going to devote the next several posts to the acting experiences I've had while living in NYC. I'll begin 2 years and four months ago (on June 5th, 2005) and proceed from there....
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