Hanging with the Ghosts of Sandy Meisner

Time: Winter 2005/Fall 2006

So I've made my decision. Out of all the wonderful acting studios in NY, I've decided upon, and been accepted to the William Esper Accelerated Two-Year Program. It worked out perfectly, actually. While working on the miniseries, I toyed with the idea of applying to grad schools... I'd looked into Juilliard, NYU and Yale's programs, and had visions of me sporting a navy blue Yale sweatshirt and doing amazing plays with the Yale Rep. But, I kept hearing about this one studio, this Esper studio. About how actors there were challenged to be their best, most authentic selves. About how the whole program was based on Meisner's teachings. Meisner being the man who prized "in-the-moment", organic responses to situations and whose technique translated well on both the stage and the screen. I was drawn to the studio, interviewed by Terry Knickerbocker, and offered a place in his First Year Class that started in January.

My last day of filming the miniseries was on December 28th, so I could wrap that project, spend a week in Texas and jump into class after the New Year. Perfect. Boy was I excited, but I had no idea what a journey I was going to make over the next 17 months.

From the very beginning, I could tell that Terry Knickerbocker was a gifted teacher and that I was blessed to be in his class. His standard of excellence, his passion for the craft both inspired and motivated my peers and me to bring our whole, most present selves to the room each and every class. To shave away the artifice and only leave the truth behind.

As time went on, my "appropriate" self started to take a back seat and I began to feel free to just be, to be me, with all of my fears and dreams and ideas and pain and desires and heartaches, however inappropriate. We were in a safe place, different from the "real world" where we could flex artistic muscles that might not be appreciated at say, The Whole Foods down the street.

Terry demanded honesty, hard work, creativity, timeliness, professionalism and growth, and if you didn't give him what he asked for, well, it sucks to be you. But even through the "suckiness", we learned. We learned our strengths and weaknesses and by watching our peers' work, we learned as well. Apart from all the gems of acting knowledge I collected each day, I learned that true friendships can blossom even when you're not looking for them. I learned how beautiful it is to support your fellow artists as you fight your way through a sometimes resistant industry. I learned that life is so, so beautiful, through laughter, love, grief and heartache, and that we actors have a responsibility to represent it as truthfully as we can. I learned oh-so-much in my 17 glorious months at the William Esper Studio, and as I walk away to continue my journey, I am a better actor and a better person because of it.